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Post by banmaixanh on Jan 27, 2013 6:15:28 GMT -5
I think I'll give you a review on the whole story once I finish reading it (of course you must finish writing it first). There are a lot of thing which can only be told once all of questions are answered in the story.  Things are linked together, if I ask you something it will relate to the next chapters so I know I better wait for the next chapter.  I admit it's really annoying especially when I'm reading the very excited story and it end with the note "TBC". But it's the normal feeling because I always want to know the ending as soon as possible.  ;D Keeping something in this chapter to solve in the next chapter is an art in writing. It help to keep the readers look forward the next chapters. Of course, if there are too many questions which are kept in the mysterious condition for a very long time, it cans tire the readers and they can give up reading or skip few chapters. With me what you do with your story is enough. Each chapter gives the answer for some questions and give me a reason to wait for the next chapter. I read the story not because I want to know the ending but because I want to know the answers for the questions I have in each chapter. It's a good job of you. With free fanfic, I don't see so many fics in which the authors can do that. And if you ask me, I can't do it I admit. ;D It's not easy thing to do and I prefer to not keep any question in my story. Even I have there parts for my story I still have one question for each part and solve it in one part too. I love this idea. It's just simply beautiful. Maeve has the pure heart, which only knows about love and care. She cares for the people she loves more than herself. She cares for their lives, their safety more than her own. The most important thing is she thought nothing for herself when she heard the call of Sinbad. She only thought about Sinbad and then Dim Dim. The moment she said sorry to Dim Dim and hoped he wouldn't have to find her broken body. It's very sad but it's the moment we can see her characteristics. All she cares about is the people she loves. She has nothing of selfishness. You did very well with this idea. It's epic and also romantic in the way you describe the sights, the feeling of Maeve and Sinbad and the readiness of them to go through the danger they feel to protect the world and the one they love. I still love the way you describe the island under the moon light. It make the story is more romantic. Even in the middle of war, we still feel the beauty of the nature. It's very hard to write the romantic moment in the battle. I think the idea because the idea itself is romantic enough. The readers will know the meaning and find out the beauty of the story, the hint you put behind each word. If you put some romantic words in the part of the battle, it could be very funny because those words don't match the situation at all.  I hate you.  ;D Ok, I'll wait. I really hope they're different enough. |
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Post by Doubar on Feb 18, 2013 16:31:30 GMT -5
*le gasp* Oh gosh, sorry Ban for still not having replied to your post. I can't believe I forgot about it. Please forgive me, honey! I shall see to this soon! For now I wanted to share with you the news that I finally uploaded the first half of the new chapter.  www.fanfiction.net/s/7477348/16/Rise-of-the-PhoenixI did decide to break it into two parts as you can see, and this here is the first one. The second one is already finished though and just needs some final adjustments so be assured that, just for once, the next update will follow quickly. Oh, and let me apologize in advance for the cliff-hanger. It was not intended to be one but when I saw just how long the chapter would be without breaking it I realized this line would make for the perfect point at which to end part one. Also, my apologies for not having created any decent chapter-covers/pics for quite some time. I just don't find inspiration these days. I will, however, make one for part two. Hope you enjoy the read. And feel encouraged to tell me what you think. I tried to quicken up the pace a bit, but this story doesn't give me much chance at doing so. Still, I hope it's all but boring. |
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Firouz
Second Mate
Here
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Post by Firouz on Feb 18, 2013 17:41:36 GMT -5
I like how Sinbad knows he has only 1 choice really to make. I LOVE how he is plunging into his element-kind of like he is finding himself. Totally awesome! I LOVE how the others are not going to leave Sinbad and are putting themselves in danger to stay with him and not let him go it alone! Family is everything to them all! Bryn protecting Dermott-Lovely point to not forget about him. Dermott trying to get to 'Maeve' I'm thinking, is so him with their brother/sisterly bond! GREAT! Doubar being the first to go to Sinbad, is such the big brother/father that he is! AWESOME! Love it a lot! Those misty hands though...is it the demonm Turok and/or Rumina, or even Sinbad's own element? Seeing his mother and Sinbad together had to be a terrible reminder of the past. It tears at the reader to feel his pain. You have don and excellent job with this! Doubar's pain is wonderfully painful to read about, as I stated before. TO be with Sinbad in the end, if it happens...family to the end. Doubar, believing Chiara and believing in Maeve and Sinbad is heartening. Showing the 3's bond is still there eventhough Maeve isn't physically there yet. GREAT! I love how Sinbad is determinded to find Maeve, but his strenght is waning seriously. This is a nice point, he's mortal and his strenght isn't infinite! AWESOME! I LOVE how he found her fire! GREAT! I LOVE how it's his safe haven to be in the fire that which warms him up. ACH! MEANIE! Such a cliffhanger! ACH! POST MORE ASAP! Sam |
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Post by Kriss on Feb 19, 2013 5:26:16 GMT -5
I did also leave my late review  |
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Post by Doubar on Feb 19, 2013 10:43:06 GMT -5
@ Ban: That is a lovely idea. Indeed some things I cannot answer yet, but will be able to once the story is finished. And I hope that you will like the result, and that any existing riddles will be solved. Now as for cliff-hangers and questions which are answered at a later point of time: I hear you on that one! As a reader I, too, don't like them much although on the other hand they often are what make a story worthwhile. But I, too, am rather impatient and would love to know the answers right away and thus, sometimes, when I read a book I skip to the end first and see whether I like the outcome of it all and then I proceed to read the parts in the middle. Haha! xD But indeed, such things have to be handled with caution. If riddles are not being solved for a too long time a story can easily get boring or too confusing. That's why I tried to make sure that with each step that the Rise takes in its progression some of them are solved. And I'm totally glad to hear that I obviously did indeed balance this well with giving enough answers yet also keeping the reader's desire alive to see the full picture of it all. Aww, you described Maeve beautifully there. And indeed this is just how I see the Celt, or how I always saw her anyway. I also like the more grounded versions of her that are out there but personally I always thought her to be like a light in the dark. And the fact that she cares more about those she loves than she does about herself does already share in how she cares for Dermott. Glad to know you appreciate this point of view. Awwwee, so happy you like that! Also, it's nice to know you like my little interlude with the island. I had indeed a rather magical image in mind, calm and peaceful for it's not a real part of this world. That is true indeed. It isn't an all too easy thing to do, but then agin it always on what sort of romance you want to include. I think the fiercer the battle, the less elaborate can gestures be and the more must the meaning lie in little signs or feelings. Nooooooo... *clings to Ban's leg* Don't hate me, pweeeaaaaase!!!!!!!!  I guess it's a good thing the next chapter is out now, eh? ^^ I'm sure they are. @ Firouz: Awwww, you're once again the first. As always, thank you SO much for taking the time to read and review! I was really rather nervous about posting this chapter because I didn't know whether the little catching up on how the crew were faring would be appreciated. But I felt the poor guys and lady deserved their part as well and I'm so relieved you liked what I came up with. I guess one of the things I always loved about the series was just how close to each other the crew were as a whole. They fought for each other and each of them would risk their life in order to safe another from peril. And I figured that it would be all but easy for them to see their captain and friend be tormented while they can do nothing but watch. Aw, and I'm happy you like the little scene with Dermott. Hehehe, you got it just right indeed. He's going all mad because he senses something that had not been there for him to perceive for a too long time. ;D It's the dark that Turok and Rumina unleashed. I think I mentioned it during the first attack already that they appeared to form hands so I thought it would not be confusing if I brought it up again here. However, do feel encouraged to tell me if it was not clear enough. I shall see then on how to make it be more obvious. Thankees, dear.  It was actually one of those spontaneous thoughts - something that just came to be while writing. Indeed, that's what I think he would do. Or at least that's how I perceive him. Sometimes I think though that I make Doubar be a little too much of a softie but then again, he's raised Sinbad and the younger man is all what is left of his old life / his childhood days. Doubar's aligned his whole life with Sinbad's and I truly think that he would want to be with him were the end of all things to come. Aye. I've always loved that scene in "The Trickster" where after the fight he had with Maeve Doubar says that he would risk his own life to protect her (or at least that's what he says in our dubbing, gah, I really have to watch S1 in English again one of these days xD ). And I adored those fictions that told about or mentioned how Doubar felt that Maeve was like a younger sister to him. Thanks, dear! I really am glad this is appreciated. I try to create a good mixture of realism and fantasy, making sure there's enough of the first to make the latter seem more real if you know what I mean. ;D Again, thank you SO much for this awesome review!! I'm so happy you liked this chapter, and again I'm so sorry about this cliff-hanger. But I will try and get the second half up as soon as possible. It's a bit longer than this first part though so I may need some days still for proof-reading. But you definitely will not have to wait another month for it! ;D @ Kriss: Awww, don't feel bad, dear! I know exactly what it's like and I feel honoured to know you still took the time to catch up on both chapters. I am sorry I didn't mention you in the A/N at the beginning. I kinda always check on the recent reviews and then copy the names so yours got lost this time. Anyhow. Thank you a whole lot for this lovely review!!!! I'm so happy you liked both chapters and the moments I gave the four siblings. To be honest, once I was done with the Doubar/Sinbad part in the current chapter I was thinking of you and wondering whether you'd like it. ;D I'm super glad that you do! I really like both relationships so much - Maeve & Dermott's and Doubar & Sinbad's and am happy when they can be mentioned and included. Ooh, and thanks as well for liking how the crew is one in this. Like I just told Firouz it's one of the things I have always loved about the show and which I was determined to include in this story as well. I hope you will also like the second part of this chapter. And thanx again for reading and reviewing! |
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Post by Kriss on Feb 19, 2013 11:35:02 GMT -5
@doubarOf course I found time to read both the chapters. Only when I got an e-mail that you posted a new chapter, I told myself that I must read it today along with the previous one Don't be sorry for anything, I'm not the best reader like Sam or Teti. I'm always late with reviews ;D Doubar and Sinbad, Sinbad and Doubar, brothers - the plot that I never get enough of. You were thinking of me while writing?! That's so so nice I do love their part I so "feel" theis feelings Yes, your crew is the crew we know form season one, at least for me it seems so. I like it really I'm sure I'm gonna like the second part Can't wait to read it
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Post by Doubar on Feb 20, 2013 14:30:25 GMT -5
@ Kriss: Late reviews or not - feedback is always appreciated and valued. Hehe, and indeed I was thinking of you there. ;D The idea came to mind rather spontaneously - it just seemed to be fitting (a result of my playing the big man I guess :3 ) and then I was automatically thinking of you because I knew you always loved it when their brotherly bond was mentioned. Oooh, and thanx for saying the crew reminds you of what they were in S1. That's exactly what I want them to be and the S1 atmosphere is the one I aimed to bring to life again. I hope to get it up by Tuesday *fingers crossed* @ Teti: Aaaaaaaah, you're my 80th review!!!!!!! Oh my GOD!!! 80!!!!!  NEVER would I have thought to reach such a number. Never ever. Thank you soooo much for your lovely review, dear!!!! I am super glad you like this chapter because, as I already said to Firouz, I was rather nervous about it. I didn't know whether the catching up on the crew would be appreciated so knowing it is feels awesome. Ehehehehehe, yeah, when I beta-ed it and read the Dermott/Bryn part I was thinking of you and my original plans. ;D I had the feeling you might like this little scene and it made me ponder once more about where to go with this (not concerning the Rise but more my future plans of story writing). Ah, but anyway, as for now I just enjoy showing them as friends. And in this regard, of course, Bryn would care deeply about the hawk who she is a friend and mistress to. Same here. Yayy, and good thinking of you and Firouz on the reason for Dermott's restlessness.  The idea is indeed that he senses Maeve's trace and is reacting to that one. ^^ Aww, again, so happy that you like it. I wasn't sure about including it because I was aware everyone is anxious to know what will happen now with Sinbad and the bird so I was insecure whether to include yet another scene before getting to that one. But you guys all show me that it was indeed a good desicion to make. Aw, and thank you for your lovely words about the way in which I wrote this - for saying I did good in-depth work. Ehi, I guess that, indeed, my inner first mate was of a great help there. *pats Doubar's head affectionately* ;D As for Doubar feeling reminded of his mother's death... I guess credits go to the big man again. Or in any case that was another of those spontaneous thoughts that just pop into mind while writing. Glad you think it to be a good addition, though it's painful I know. Aaaaah, and really? You like Sinbad's reaction this much? Wow! Thank you a whole lot for such lovely words!! I didn't notice before but indeed I usually deal only with a couple of emotions at the same time, mainly because usually I draw situations that create only two or three at the same time. But this time there just is more going on. I think I put our favourite captain into quite an inner turmoil with everything that's going on there. There's so many different things he feels, and each of them emotions alone would be overwhelming enough I think. But he has to face all of them at once and that was quite a tough bit to write I must admit. But I'm all the happier that you appreciate of this scene so much. Really, that honours me more than I could say!!!! Again, to you as well, thank you soooo much for taking the time to read and review! Your support means so very much to me, I cannot even begin to tell. *hugs* |
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Post by Kriss on Feb 20, 2013 15:29:25 GMT -5
@doubarYou're very welcome for everything
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Post by Doubar on Feb 23, 2013 11:29:49 GMT -5
@ Kriss: *hugs* @ MJ: Awwww, thank you so much, dear, for taking the time to read and review!!!! And I'm beyond happy that you, as well, like the chapter. As always, I feel truly honoured by your words! Odd as it may sound, but painting a picture with words is exactly what I have always dreamed of doing - I did so ever since I started writing. And I started with it because I wanted to bring the scenes, the pictures that I had in mind into any shape or form that can be shared. I would also love to be able to draw things but found myself be better able to transform them into written text rather than actual pictures. x) However, the art of using a poetic language is a whole different matter and I've every now and since tried my hand on it - sometimes with more, sometimes with less success. So hearing that currently I'm doing well with it means a whole lot to me!!!!! Aw, you noticed. Indeed this is one of the major things I wanted to show. I know it's so clichéd somehow, with the baddies knowing only malice and the goodies being good and pure and selfless, but then again - that's exactly what the show was about, wasn't it? And it's what we loved, or what I loved anyway. It was always there in the series as well, though not as plain and clear as I make it be with this story and particularly this chapter. But it's my main reason for writing things like that, and I'm super happy that the result is appreciated. Well, they're not feeding the phoenix directly, but I think indeed you are right when it comes to Sinbad. Though he might not be aware of it they are giving him a certain kind of strength, help him focus. I guess that, altruistic and a hero as he is, he might not have been able to risk and endure this much if there weren't so many who were worth fighting for. So in the long run, yes, all their acts of love help not only Sinbad in a way, but also the poenix. Goodness, thank you SO much for these words! It's one of the main things I have worried about all along (for the last couple of chapters actually). Because, yeah, this is AoS and it's supposed to bear the S1 atmosphere so of course there will not be much of a surprise in the final outcome of the battle. And making things be still interesting, adding tension and depth, maybe even a little bit of suspense, to a fight that's not even executed with weapons it's a tough thing to do, and with each chapter I post I am waiting anxiously for what you guys will say about it all. Ah, your lines are such a relief to me. You have no idea! Thank you. Again, thanx a whole lot, my dear, for this lovely review and your constant support! It means so much to me that you always take the time to r&r. *big hugs* |
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Post by MJ on Feb 23, 2013 14:59:27 GMT -5
You keep writin' 'em and I'll keep readin' and reviewing them! Glad to be of service ;D It's like just by doing good things, helping out others in small of big matters, you make the world a better place, you form all these connections and when you need it, there will be room for you to hang back a little and let the others carry some of your weight, because you're all connected by the same rope. Just whack me with a rolled up newspaper if I stop making sense You know what I really can't wait for? Dermott meeting the Phoenix! How is our little hawk going to react to a big ball of fire with wings? |
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Post by Kriss on Feb 24, 2013 9:52:29 GMT -5
*hugs*
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Post by Doubar on Feb 27, 2013 10:19:44 GMT -5
Aaaah, me's so excited. ;D I just uploaded part two of "Rise of the Phoenix" (the chapter I mean) and now I'm super nervous as to what you think about it. This is like the central chapter of the whole story (well, to me it is at last) and basically the reason why I started writing the whole thing in the first place. I still think there could be tiny things edited and I'm not sure if some more details would have done the story good, but then again at some point you just got to tell yourself it's good that way or else you're never gonna finish your works. And after having adjusted it quite a bit over the last few days I think I'm now content with the result. So, here it is: RotP: Rise of the Phoenix Part 2www.fanfiction.net/s/7477348/17/Rise-of-the-Phoenix Ooh, and yes, this is exactly how it's supposed to look like *points at pic*. MJ: I hope you're not mad at me or disappointed about Dermott and the bird. But I felt entitled to write this scene just like I had imagined it so many years ago when this story first was planned. |
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Post by banmaixanh on Feb 27, 2013 10:59:23 GMT -5
Part 2 is on net now? GREAT!!! I've just read part 1 this everning. Now, i'm going to read part 2. I'll give you my thought tomorrow. Now, i'll read part 2 and then sleep. |
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Post by Kriss on Feb 27, 2013 11:01:21 GMT -5
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Post by Doubar on Feb 27, 2013 11:16:57 GMT -5
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Things are linked together, if I ask you something it will relate to the next chapters so I know I better wait for the next chapter. 
I just try to realize what I like to read, too. And personally I prefer if the chapters carry me through a story, when they always give me reason to read on. I hope I'm not over-using cliff-hangers because that could easily be annoying. But to raise new questions, to make myself and readers look forward to the next part - that's what I try to do and I am so happy to hear that obviously I succeed at doing this. 
;D Keeping something in this chapter to solve in the next chapter is an art in writing. It help to keep the readers look forward the next chapters. Of course, if there are too many questions which are kept in the mysterious condition for a very long time, it cans tire the readers and they can give up reading or skip few chapters. With me what you do with your story is enough. Each chapter gives the answer for some questions and give me a reason to wait for the next chapter. I read the story not because I want to know the ending but because I want to know the answers for the questions I have in each chapter. It's a good job of you. 
I hate you. 
;D Ok, I'll wait. 
It was actually one of those spontaneous thoughts - something that just came to be while writing. 
The idea is indeed that he senses Maeve's trace and is reacting to that one. ^^