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Post by Doubar on Feb 27, 2013 18:08:47 GMT -5
@ MJ: Awwweee, thank you SO much for your review, dear!!! You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you weren't disappointed with Dermott's meeting with the bird.  And that you like the chapter in general... ah, this is so great!!!!!! I really am glad you do.  The phoenix' mourning was not part of the original plan but then I remembered that I had Chiara say in the earlier chapters something about the bird doing so, so it had to be done. ^^ And thanx for being this honest about the sentence structure! I agree with you - while I believe (and hope >.> ) everything is grammatically correct the language does not always fit the show and rest of the story in its flow and style. It's a bit too ... artistic? cumbersome? ... at some points (those points being just the ones you mentioned) and I guess I got carried away a little there. I also tried to tone that down quite a bit (and believe me, the first draft of this chapter was much worse in that regard) but with some sentences I had no idea how to modify them without disturbing the flow that I believed the chapter had. Everything I tried out seemed clumsy to me so I resolved to prefer the jarring pieces over the alternatives I had at hand. x) Also I guess I am trying out different styles at the moment, giving in to my old wish to be somewhat lyrical in my writings and maybe overdoing it sometimes. However, this won't happen again.  Oh and as for Maeve and Sinbad's view on this: I know, I know. And I was actually wondering whether someone would mention it. ;D I am well aware this is missing in this chapter but that was done quite on purpose. I figured it would most likely destroy the flow of the chapter had I constantly jumped between the crew's and the couple's POV so I decided to follow only one of the two parties. But I can assure you that I plan to catch up with Sinbad's experience at least (not sure if I'll do Maeve, too, to be honest) though maybe not quite as detailed as would be expected ('cause I don't want things to be repetitive). Again, thanx for reading and reviewing, dear. It means a whole lot!!!  |
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Firouz
Second Mate
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Post by Firouz on Feb 27, 2013 19:49:15 GMT -5
It's like I told you hun, I have you on favs. I get and email alert, and if I have time, I usually have a 13-20 min break during the morning where I can read one chapter from any on my updated lists.
When I see yours, I jump on it! ;D
I totally, agree with you though, jumping POVs is hard and can at times disrupt the story flow.
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Post by banmaixanh on Feb 28, 2013 9:49:36 GMT -5
Wow, amazing chapter!!!! I really have no word to say just enjoy it to bit. There are not so many details here to say about. Most of things you already told us in the previous chapters, this chapter is just how the war is. The war is great. Everything in this chapter is great. The darkness fills the temple but it doesn't fill the story. The main color of this chapter is the faith and the love not the dark of black magic. I like the most in this chapter is how Doubar worried about Sinbad and how much he wanted to come near his little brother. It's so natural of him. And also I like how Chiara tried to stop him. The way she putted her hand on Doubar with the meaning of it as you said, it made me like her ever more. She seemed to much older than her age but she was still just a kid. I like her mystery at first, then her knowledge and now her innocence. I don't remember if in any previous chapters I saw her innocence but this one I like it a lot. And I like how Doubar's reaction toward her words when she stopped him the first time. Again you draw the very beautiful meaning for his reaction. I like how you put some random words into your story but contains the very beautiful meaning in them. Maybe there are a lot of other things like this in the whole chapter but right now I only remember two of them.  I like how describe the phoenix, the moment the phoenix appear for exact, it's very sacred and beautiful. The color you put into this part is so epic, beautiful, bright and warm (maybe it's my feeling only  . And the phoenix is so beautiful (seeing your fanart.) The last word: it's really great. About Turok and Rumina, I really want to see if there is something happen to them then. Will you write about them in next chapter? And our lady came back already. The story will end soon right? or it ends already? You don't end the story like that, do you? I remember that you told me that this story would be about 16 chapters, it reaches chapter 17th already. Very long one. When you told me how long the story would be I thought that I wouldn't know when I could read the ending but now even I'm excited to know about the ending, it's a bit sad to think that there's nothing more to read.  One more thing: Read my little one and tell me how much similar you see our stories are. |
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Post by Doubar on Feb 28, 2013 15:51:54 GMT -5
@ Firouz: ;D ;D Alert or not, you still are amazing! ;D ;D About the different POVs: Exactly. That's why I opted against inlcuding Sinbad's/Maeve's view in the chapter. I don't think I would have been able to handle it well and ruining the chapter was the last thing I wanted to do. @ Ban: Yayyyy, I'm so glad you like the chapter!!!! True that. There's not so many details in this part, it's just about the struggle/war. Still I tried to show more than this and telling from what you said I succeeded in doing so. Reading you felt that the main colour of the chapter was not a dark but rather a light one that showed the faith and love between our favourite sailors and couple makes me so happy. Also I'm glad you like Doubar in this, and Chiara. Really, I'm over the moon you like the young one so much. I must admit I have grown very fond her myself. She's such a sweet one and just like you described her: young but wise beyond her age, knowing and yet innocent. She's my first own character and it's so great to see that others like her as well. *hugs* Ooh, really? That's awesome! Because no, it's not just you, but me as well. It's what I wanted to bring across, what I wanted to show and what's in my head (and has been for all these years). I was so nervous about this chapter because I've been working my way towards it for such a long time and didn't want to screw it up in the end. Thank you!!! I'm so glad I found a picture that I could use as a foundation for creating a fanart of how I imagined the creature, and am super happy you like the result. As for Turok and Rumina... as first I wasn't sure but now I think they'll definitely get another paragraph - I just have to figure out where and when. *ponders* You are right by the way, the story will end soon (gosh, I can't believe I really got so far! O.o) but do not worry - the current chapter was not the last one. There is one more chapter to come and maybe a little epilogue, too. I wouldn't dare and leave you hanging like this. But indeed, originally I had estimated the story to consist of approx. 16 chapters. However, since "Darkness falls" and "Rise of the Phoenix" turned out to be so long that I decided to post them in two parts each we have to add two chapters to the count. I will definitely read it as soon as I can. I'm already looking forward to doing so and can't wait to see how many similarities are indeed there. Thank you, sweetheart, for taking the time to read and share your thoughts and opinion with me. Your support is valued greatly. |
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Post by MJ on Mar 1, 2013 14:13:13 GMT -5
I was listening to this song:
and it reminded me of The Rise a lot. I think it has a lot of the same themes.
*Shrugs* I dunno if you like it, just thought I'd share.
PS working on my tag right now
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Post by Kriss on Mar 2, 2013 6:53:18 GMT -5
@ Kriss: I must admit it wasn't all that hard actually. ;D I took a fire picture and an amazingly beautiful one showing a phoenix (on both I lay absolutely no claim btw), changed their colours and used some neat effects on them that my program provides.  Then I modified things like contrast, brightness and stuff, blended the pics... you know the drill. ;D I'm really glad you like it. Maybe it was easy to made as you said but still it's amazing I posted my little review For once I have a pretty good time ;D ;D |
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Post by Doubar on Mar 2, 2013 9:10:53 GMT -5
MJ: I totally LOVE this song!!! I didn't know it before but you are right - it covers the essential theme between Maeve and Sinbad beautifully. I especially like the part where the lyrics are about the whisper that turns into a shout and the two hearts being one. Awesome! Thank you SO much for sharing, dear. I really love it. @kriss: Yay, thankees, dear. And thank you for the review, too!!!!!! You know it means a whole lot that people take the time to read and leave a few lines, and I'm super super happy that you like the chapter - complete with the M/S, the D/S and the phoenix part. Ah, really, I'm happy as a clam! Thank you so much, dear!!! Ai, sounds good. ;D
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Post by Kriss on Mar 2, 2013 11:31:46 GMT -5
@doubar You're very welcome my dear :* :* :* I read it with pleasure |
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Post by Doubar on Mar 2, 2013 12:13:07 GMT -5
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Post by Doubar on Mar 2, 2013 16:13:05 GMT -5
@ Teti: Wheeee, thank you for your review, honey!!!!!!! It means so much to me that you took the time to read the chapter and leave a few lines. And I'm soooo glad you liked it!! It's true, the two of them aren't conscious yet so we have the odd situation of having a reunion without the reunited pair knowing that they are together again. Oooh, I'm so mean ain't I? ;D ;D ;D But I really hope you'll like their reaction/s when they weak up. *crosses fingers* Also thank you for liking the descriptions. I know the chapter is heavy on them, but well... that's what it was supposed to be right from the start. I had this image of the phoenix in mind and I just wanted to share it, write it down and show others through words. I really am so glad this worked. Thank you!!!!! <3 Now as for Rumina: I know, it seems a bit unlikely depending on how one interprets that character. But yes, she did give up this easily in that moment. And the reason for that is doubt. Turok had good reason to try and erase any doubt from her heart earlier on and it worked, too, for the time being. But if you notice, she's not been as convinced as him right from the start: she was the one who felt threatened by the moonlight even if she had a fit of rage when her father addressed it, and it was her who was almost shocked when Turok decided to strike again. Out of the two of them I simply believe Rumina to be the more insecure one. While Turok is full of himself Rumina knows the moment of doubt. We saw this more human sight of her in the Trickster, and even in the first eps already (when she was so anxious about Sinbad flying with Firouz's device) - and I took up on this. Also I think her moods can change swiftly and her hate and anger can quickly be replaced by other emotions depending on the situation. So, at least for me, it seemed okay to have her act this way. However, the question remains whether she was right to just surrender - whether they could indeed not have won the fight - or whether Turok is right and she was the one who doomed them. But evil as I am I'm not gonna give the answer on that one. Still, yes, both will be pretty unhappy about her moment of doubt, this I can assure you. >.> Considering they wanted to kill off a holy creature that functions as a guardian to all good people and the balance between good and bad, it's true indeed - this plan would have been the most dangerous one of the whole show. So, maybe yes, it was a huge mistake she made and maybe she should have fought on, but after all what has happened before (during the one year where she chased after Sinbad and could never quite get him and then with the Griffin's Egg and her losing a good part of her powers) I do indeed think she has learned to doubt. Or at least that's how I see it. And in any case I needed the fight to be over without Turok and Rumina killing themselves over it (yes, I have plans for them, mwahaha [not knowing though whether they'll work out, duh!]). xD I hope you can forgive me! Again, thank you soo much. It means a whole lot and you know it. *hugs* |
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Firouz
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Post by Firouz on Mar 10, 2013 14:18:51 GMT -5
I LOVE your reasoning for making RUmina pull back.
There is a little bit of all the emotions in us from the lightest and most loving to the darkest and most evilest.
I guess its just how far we allow ourselves to feel them that ultimately decides where we lie on the emotional graph.
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Post by Doubar on Mar 13, 2013 15:02:25 GMT -5
Thank you, dear. I'm glad you like my reasoning. And true that - we all bear the whole range of emotions inside, and whether they influence our choices depends on how much we allow them to do that, and on how strong they are within us. |
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Firouz
Second Mate
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Post by Firouz on Mar 13, 2013 16:47:43 GMT -5
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Post by Doubar on Apr 4, 2013 14:37:14 GMT -5
Ah, how do I say this? You girls still remember the short shot that I posted in the members area some time ago? Back then I wasn't really content with the result, right? Well, as I am slowly recovering (or at least I hope I am) from my creative block, and since Ban reminded me of how much I love the hurt/comfort category, I went to edit the shot. Turned it from 1st person to 3rd person (which was the most important thing to do imo 'coz that voice just wasn't Sinbad's if you know what I mean), and added some bits that I hope improve on the atmosphere of everything. The whole thing is still less emotional than most of my other shots, but then again Sinbad seemed pretty numb in that scene, too, so maybe that fits. I'd be super happy if you could spare a few minutes and have a look at the edited version. And I'd be most grateful for a little feedback as well. I'm rather insecure about the tenses in this one so if any of you brilliant speakers detect any mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out to me so that I can go and correct them! In the fading light of daywww.fanfiction.net/s/9169991/1/In-the-fading-light-of-dayI hope you will enjoy the read. And I hope to get back to my old writing self again soon. |
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Post by Kriss on Apr 5, 2013 6:10:01 GMT -5
R&R My quote is famous now ;D
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The phoenix' mourning was not part of the original plan but then I remembered that I had Chiara say in the earlier chapters something about the bird doing so, so it had to be done. ^^
. And the phoenix is so beautiful (seeing your fanart.) 
Then I modified things like contrast, brightness and stuff, blended the pics... you know the drill. ;D I'm really glad you like it. 