The jokes thread

[Sinbad]

Can´t believe we have nothing like this...yet.

A great (IMO) joke I heard yesterday:

Two men walk through a forest when they meet a magic fairy. The fairy is like: "You know what, I kinda like you guys, so each of you will get three wishes, one per week."
The first man says: "Hm, well, in that case I want a really big and luxurious house." The second thinks for a while and says. "I want my wrist to make spinning movements all the time."
The fairy shrugs and grants them their wishes.
The second week the fairy appears again for the second wish. This time the first man wishes for a beautiful wife whereas the second just wants his right shoulder to shrug continuosly. Again the fairy doesn´t ask questions and does as she is asked.
When the fairy appears for the last wish, the first man wants a pretty car, the second man just says: "I want my head to nod all the time." Both of them are granted these wishes.

After half a year the fairy by chance comes across the two men again and asks: "So how are things with you? How did your wishes turn out?" The first man is all happy and content and says: "Oh it´s great. My house is awesome, I have the loveliest wife a man could imagine and everyone envies me for this great car."
"And what about you?" the fairy asks the second man who has been listening, turning his wrist, shrugging and shaking his head all the time.
His reply: "I think I came to the conclusion that I just wished for crap."


;D ;D ;D ;D

[Khei]

Only jokes I know are "dirty" or borderline "dirty".. This is the cleanest joke I know..

A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!!

The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the genie informs that he will give her three wishes. But, he cautions her that because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten times the amount of whatever she wishes.

The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish was for a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of 10 billion dollars.

The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. In an instant it was granted, but the genie then reminds gain that her ex-husband now owns ten of what she wished for, and points own the beach to a small development of ten such mansions.

Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman informs the genie that she wants to make the last wish. But, before she can do this, the genie again warns her that her ex-husband will get ten times what she wishes for. "No problem", said the woman as she grinned in ecstasy. "For my last wish...Id like to give birth to twins".

[Doubar]

@sinbad: *headdesks* This joke hurts... xD

Khei: lol! ;D ;D ;D Haha, this joke ROCKS!!! Haha, great. Really great! ;D ;D ;D