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Post by manche on Apr 9, 2019 13:10:49 GMT -5
A good point about Talia, but Deanna seemed to be quite dull to me. Talia was completely able to care about herself in contrast to her and although I am not sure what exactly happened between them, I could imagine that Sinbad would be attracted to her. But Deanna... no way for me, she looked that she always needs to help when a crisis appears. Sinbad did not look as someone who wants to use the advantage of damsel in distress and comfort such a woman.
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Post by manche on Apr 9, 2019 6:17:32 GMT -5
In the middle of the episode, Sinbad and Rongar got closer to the castle of this baron (at the top of the high mountain), they are on the ground below, they make few steps and they are confrontated by this blonde woman (Marissa). She is thrown into the abyss after that fight. Is it my mistake or the abyss is suddenly located on the same side from which Rongar and Sinbad originally came? From where did this abyss appear? They were fighting in the small area, it does not look that they could get a long away from this starting point.
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Post by manche on Apr 9, 2019 3:08:24 GMT -5
It was seen in this episode that Sinbad still has the medailon from Omar in Double Trouble. He was seen wearing it here, but I have a question, was this medailon seen in some different episodes after Double Trouble or Bully? Or it was shown there only because of the connection with Omar?
And one more thing, I noted in the official description that Omar and Doubar were afraid that Omar will be forced to arrest Sinbad if he kills Harun without provocation. I never noticed this in the episode, but when I remember this glance exchanged between Omar and Doubar when Sinbad left the village... it could indicate something, do not you think?
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Post by manche on Apr 8, 2019 2:45:42 GMT -5
Oh no, why? I can not imagine the Sinbad before the first season would have the interest about this girl. This music was such a beautiful theme for Maeve/Sinbad, so why use it for a random, uninteresting woman?
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Post by manche on Apr 8, 2019 2:43:00 GMT -5
It was only a momentary reflection, I like writing, I found recently that is helps me to cope with the stress from school. How nice to escape into the world of dreams for a few moments. Thank you for your comment about my English, it was one of very few things in which I thought that I am quite good. I was uncertain if it was not only my imagination that my English is somehow decent. Yes, I think that I misunderstood your previous post. I am sorry for this predisposition, but I am glad you enjoy reading despite this. I also think that the native language plays the important role in writing - you will think what you want to say in your native language and you will try to translate it into English after that. But as every language has a different structure, you can make some inaccuracies for this. So, maybe I have a little Czech version of English. Would you believe that we are similar in this? I also wrote a lot of stories only for myself (two alternative seasons of Prison Break, a few western stories, a few on motifs of The X Files), but I wanted to share this one with others. And for same reasons as you.
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Post by manche on Apr 6, 2019 14:03:10 GMT -5
It is only my impression or we can hear the music theme, which was heard usually in romantic scenes of Sinbad with Maeve, at the beginning of this episode during his talk with this Deanna? I hope that I am wrong; it would not please me very much.
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Post by manche on Apr 6, 2019 8:17:01 GMT -5
Ahum. I should not go off on psychology lectures. They are so good though! But I'll stop. And no, you don't sound whiny when you ask others to read your work. The reason I don't read it is that I don't really like to get invested in stories that aren't complete. I don't like to wait years for the end. The second reason is... from what I remember from reading a few bits years ago, is that you don't use an editor or beta-reader. Which means a lot of mistakes get left in. And I am not patient enough to keep going back on lines trying to discern what you meant. Like, I'm not the perfect example of a fanfic writer by any means, but if I can't find someone to beta-read for me, for the stories I care about (and have time enough for, my Christmas presents have always been too rushed), I read them over time and time again. Not just for basic language mistakes but for pacing, for characterisation. For example: I have a tendency to get too flowery. I like to describe things a TON. But it's super boring to read. Because as writers it is not our job to say everything, but to narrow it down to a compelling narrative. So my suggestion would be: finish you story and get your big red editor's pen out. Fix what needs fixing, and glow with pride on the beauty you unearth! Once you're sure you've written the best thing you can, then I will gladly read it. Which seems like a high bar. But I know you can do it. Of course it is a lot of work, and if you don't want it and just enjoy going on writing as you have been, good for you! It's important to do something creative with your life without striving for excellence. Enjoy the process, not the destination! But then I won't read it because I want to enjoy the process as well. And now I hope I don't seem like a rude know-it-all. I was aiming for supportive and honest. I can write supportive yet honest characters, why can't I hit that tone as well (because I can't control the other person's perception is why, but still)? Thank you for your comment. As I am not a native speaker, I am sure that there are mistakes which I did not catch, I am trying to work on it, also when I started (it will be 6 years ago, is it possible?) I was not so skilled in English. I was thinking about a beta-reader but I do not have any friend who would be so good in English for this. And the professional editor... I never thought that I would publish this story outside some fans websites, so I did not feel the necessity to think about it, I also thought that my English is understandable enough and that I did not miss any serious mistakes. Thank you for your support, you definitely do not sound as the know-it-all. We can even agree on this matter. And if I saw a story where are a lot of mistakes, I would not be probably so keen to read it as well. But in this regards, I would probably have a problem to recognise that the quality of English in a story is worse, unless there were some glaring mistakes. But if it is like this, maybe I should seriously think if I will continue with writing at all... Or with keeping posts in English anywhere... I guess I need a pause.
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Post by manche on Apr 4, 2019 11:06:58 GMT -5
Next up is manche! He reviewed Demon Hunter Chapter 1: Yes! And can you imagine what she had gone through BEFORE joining master Dim-Dim? Because her situation is so unique, there has to be a story behind it and it's going to be a hard one. I have this image of her just curling around him on that beach, using her body to protect him from the lapping waves. And as the tide comes up, they are both unconcious as the waves start to drag her away, still they reach for each other even as she slips away. As for not wanting Sinbad to see her like this. It's more to do with her own insecurity about her looks than about him. She can pull out the big brave mask with anyone else, but with those she loves she knows she will be vulnerable and that is incredibly scary for her. Sadly, this was the more realistic scene. Sorol was praying for a wife because no one in the village would give him one of their daughters because they knew he was bad (and not rich enough to buy one anyway). The women in the village were relieved when he "caught" a wife because it meant they were no longer at risk. The women, all alone in the village with their menfolk gone to sea, had seen what Maeve had done to Sorol (in self-defence!) and were mad at her for it. Because, oddly, Sorol, creep as he is, was one of them. Rachel, for all her kindness, can't admit that Sorol's actions were wrong because that would mean her own husband would not have the right either. She has been taught from birth that she, and all women, are secondary to men. So in her mind, if Maeve had just submitted to Sorol like a good wife nothing bad would have happened. - Except that it totally would have because of what happened to Sorol's first wife, but Rachel can't place that into her narrative so leaves it out. There is some deep and terrible psychology going on here to keep everything as it is. Thank you. It made me a little sad too. That's why it was so important to me to talk about it with people who read it. So we could all process it together. If that makes sense. Thank you manche for reviewing! I read some information about the background of Maeve in her bio and I agree that her life was full of unpleasant events long time before meeting with Dym Dim/crew. For this reason, I always wished happyend to her in the end, I read a story where Maeve died in the process of saving Dermott and although it was greatly written, I so do not like such a resolution for her. The poor woman deserves the piece of happiness as everyone else. Yes, I agree that Sinbad would not look at her differently, that it was her own insecurity. I would still wish that she would give him this chance. She knows him and his nature after all, that he is not a shallow person. Oh, you definitely wrote these scenes with villagers realistically. It was disturbing, but greatly written scene for me. I did not even realize that so much psychology was hidden there - do you have more experiences with psychology, MJ? I was glad that I could read this story MJ, I will plan read more of your work in the future. Maybe if you had the interest and I am not asking too much from you, you could read something from story as well in distant future? It is a big story, I am still working on it, but you would make me very happy if you read even a small piece and leave your comment. There was not any comment over 2 years and I would wish to know if someone thinks it is good. I hope that I did not sound too whiny? It definitely was not my intention.
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Post by manche on Apr 1, 2019 10:46:13 GMT -5
Aww thanks, Manche! I'm very happy you like this missing scene and thank you so much for leaving a comment on FF.net. It means a lot and it certainly helps to boost my motivation to keep writing. I wish I could maintain a regular posting schedule but sadly with my unpredictable work it's impossible. It was my pleasure to motivate you for next writing. Especially when you will continue with writing such interesting stories.
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Post by manche on Mar 27, 2019 15:28:39 GMT -5
Dear Maeve I started to read your missing pieces and this one for Monument is amazing. I cant wait for the others. I left my comment there as well, I only want to apologize, I so hate that I can not edit my reviews anymore for case that some typos slipped me for the first time. Even when they are relatively minor, so I hope that it will not mind you.
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Post by manche on Mar 23, 2019 14:27:50 GMT -5
Dear MJ, I read the first part of your story today. I left the review for you at fanfiction. Great written story, but so sad. I so feel for poor Maeve in such a state.
I do not know when I will read the second part, but after reading the first, I was so curious and I looked at the end of the second part. I almost had tears in my eyes when I read these goodbyes of crewmembers with Maeve.
Despite the fact, how sad the story is, it shows how a talented writer you are. An amazing job done there.
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Post by manche on Mar 15, 2019 13:17:32 GMT -5
I did not upload anything for a longer time, but I am still writing, so there is a bigger piece for this time
Later that night, Doubar offered to take the tiller for some time. Sinbad wanted to refuse but Doubar was adamant. “It was not a question, the little brother. You were here almost whole day. You should eat something and a few hours of sleeping would be useful as well. I will not discuss it anymore.” Sinbad finally agreed. “It goes quite well so far. The weather is our side.” he noted towards the first mate. “I take it as a good omen.” smiled Doubar and patted Sinbad on his left shoulder.
Sinbad walked into the galley where a few people were sitting. Ateeb was mixing a fish with some vegetable in a big pot and he gave him a solid portion on his plate. Sinbad sat for a moment and he started to eat, but he did not eat very much. “It’s delicious, but I will leave it for later, OK?” he stood up and he headed towards his quarter. “I take you for the word, my captain. I will serve you this food as the first after the end of the war. But I fear that it will not be good anymore.” noted Ateeb. “I will eat in any state. You have the word of the captain.” joked Sinbad. “Is he really joking?” mumbled Bosley to his neighbour. “From when?” “Everything is good, Sinbad?” asked Tetsu who was sitting close to the door. “Certainly yes, the old friend.” replied the captain. “We will see later. You will tell me about your adventures on the sea. Do you agree, Tetsu?” “When you forgave me that my adventures are not interesting at all...” shrugged Tetsu his shoulders. Sinbad slightly smiled and he entered to his quarter.
Sinbad did not sit inside his own quarter. He stood up to the wall and he was looking up towards the ceiling. His mind was full of different thoughts which were connected with the events which he experienced in last two years. During the last months, his thoughts had tendency to care about negative memories preferably. This tendency became bigger and bigger every day with the unpleasant development of events in the world outside. The captain closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. He would not count all times when he was standing at the tiller and started to recall his worst memories:
He was hearing a terrible scream of an unknown person. He did not know what happened but he was feeling that it is something horrible. He was feeling such cold at this moment.... He was standing on the bank of the sea and he was desperately shouting the name of his Lea who disappeared in its depths.... The ship was in a horrible storm and Sinbad started to doubt that the ship will come through this in one piece. Five his men were already swept overboard.... It was after the fight with the demon Iblis. He agreed to take him on the journey. He should realize that something is wrong with this guy. And now, the mister Dim Dym was lost somewhere. And poor Mustapha, he wished to sail with him so much. Such a young boy... The sailor arrived too late and Maeve was turned into the stone. Why did he ever leave her alone with such a suspicious existence? .... He was forced to come through the magical door and left behind his closest person, a man who raised him... The young captain was standing in the completely empty village. He said goodbye to the last remaining member of his crew a minute ago. Nobody else was there with him and he was not sure what should he do now. Why he had to lose all of them?.... He was running through the forest with Firouz and Rongar by his side. The noise of the fight was stronger and stronger and they finally saw something shocking. Two people whom he liked the most from the whole world were fighting to death. It was terrible shock for a very short moment.... He should have killed Rumina together with Turock. If he did it, these villagers would not have been attacked... Maeve was swept overboard during the horrible storm. He was shouting her name desperately... He returned back to the ship after their adventure with Cayman. He looked around, but the Celtic witch was not on the board. He turned towards Doubar...
The next bad memories appeared after a few months. At this time, Rumina and her companions started to make full frontal attacks on many smaller islands which were not big obstacles for them. Sinbad and his crew helped in few cases with fight, but not so significantly. They only heard about destroying of other islands. They also saw a few destroyed islands that were not used as habitats by enemies. Sinbad could not forgot at the ruins of Mirhago when were not left any survivors. People of this kingdom became free of the cruel royal protector only for a few months and their better lives were ended by bigger evil. Sinbad experienced a next big shock in the City of Mist. There were found a few survivors in catacombs who were saved by the spell of Serendib. The young girl gave all her strength to save them which almost killed her, she survived, but she was incredibly weak. The crew helped to relocate the survivors on a different island with bigger military strength. He talked with Serendib before their departure and she confirmed previous rumours about the return of Turock who alongside Rumina led the attack on the island. It was a big blow for the whole crew which could not understand how something like this is even possible. The crew buried a few known friends on Mylagia as well. They arrived there only a day after the attack and they found only five survivors. Jullaner and Milfer were not among them unfortunately. Caitiff was seriously wounded when they found him and despite the best effort of Firouz, he died two days later.
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Post by manche on Mar 14, 2019 7:53:18 GMT -5
I have absolutely NO idea! xP It wasn't logical at all for Rumina to try seducing Maeve. But I will list it as attempted fanservice to both female and male watchers. *shrugs* >.> It could be a new trick of Rumina. She wanted to beguile her for the case that the Omar's guards would find them. A small help would be useful ( a silly explanation is better than none). Or it was only the play for the Rumina's joy. She probably hoped that Maeve admits some feelings for Sinbad. After this she probably wanted to changed into her true form and killed her with words: "It is nice, but you have never got the opportunity to say it to him." Although the attempt of Rumina to seduce Maeve is really a little strange, I must say that I always liked how Zen played this scene and how Jacqueline reacted to it. She seemed to be tempted to kiss him as well but she quickly realized that Sinbad would never behave like this.
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Post by manche on Mar 11, 2019 14:28:58 GMT -5
I started to read your last story today, I will need more time for whole reading, but the beginning was impressive. Poor Maeve, I would not wish her anything like this, I wanted to hug her. Good job, dear MJ. Thank you so much for starting to read Manche! And yeah, some really terrible things happen to Maeve, and without the crew, she doesn't have a whole lot of supportive peple around her to help her cope Oh, the poor girl. She did not have the most pleasant life even before this event and really sad is that she is alone again. This is why I always wished her happyend in the TV series so much - free her brother, defeat Rumina, return to the Nomad and settle with Sinbad one day. But I am very curious of your story - in real life happyends are so rare and this approach in writing is also important.
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Post by manche on Mar 9, 2019 12:57:49 GMT -5
Sadly, for the biggest part I had to give up on both - reading and writing. I haven't read any fanfiction for months now and haven't written anything for over a year. I miss this hobby of mine so much but when getting home in the evening I just don't have the energy anymore to invent new worlds and play with them, and during weekends I mostly try to re-charge and see to stuff I didn't get done during the week. That makes taking the time to read and review somewhat difficult, too, and I really think this is a shame. Dear Doubar, I am sorry that you do not have time for this your hobby. You were my best reader together with Firouz and I was curious if you will like my story as I love your story about Phoenix.
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