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Post by Sinbad on Apr 4, 2009 5:14:38 GMT -5
Sinbad listened to what the other man said. It sounded similar to some things that he had been through, not related to Maeve or anything that had to do with the previous year, but the situation was not uncommon.
"Yes." he replied. "I think you should give it a try. If that person hates you, well, then that won´t come as a surprise because that is what you fear anyways, right?" He turned slightly, looking at the man next to him. "but maybe that won´t be the case and then you might spend your days wondering about a ´what if´?"
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Post by OldSean on Apr 16, 2009 5:32:37 GMT -5
Sean looked down then back at him as he explained to him and talked to him, even so he wasn't ready to tell him the actual situation. At least not yet anyways, maybe some day just not today anyways. He had a feeling that Sinbad may understend him then again he couldn't be sure about it so. Sean knew that he wasn't the only one who had tough life but wasn't sure if it was his captain Sinbad who went threw the same or someone else.
"Are you sure about it? you don't think that the person may hate me or something?" he said to him trying to be sure. Hoping the answer would be that the person won't hate him yet he doubted though. "Are you really sure that i should?yes that is true, but if the person hates me then most likely he can try to get me in trouble for what he thinks that i have done, even though i haven't done that at all. You are right though, Captain but don't you think it would end up being worth then hattered?" he said hoping that his captain would say that there is no way that it would happen and that he is paranoid or something. That could make him feel a bit better. Also he did agree with his captain, Sinbad about tha he should go and see the person and if he hates him then it won't come as a surprise to him. Sean looked down then at his captain as he turned to face him. "Good point but how can i know for sure though? you may think i am crazy or something but i am scared to go there alonre or at all, as in to visit the person. One way it would be good to go with someone but if i do it would be embressing and i would have to tell the person who comes with me about the situation and i don't think i am ready for that, what should i do? do you have any ideas? an advice that i could possibly use? or something like that that may help me?"
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Post by Sinbad on Apr 17, 2009 1:51:27 GMT -5
It sounded as if the other man had a lot to spill out, a lot to share that was troubling his heart, yet he was beating around the bush since he never revealed what this actually was about, no matter how many words he used to describe the circumstances. It didn´t bother Sinbad, since he could see himself only too well in such a behaviour (with less talking though, since he tended to keep things locked away from everyone or nearly everyone).
"You can never be sure." he started, answering the quesiton that seemed most urgent to him. "but you can end your worrying and thinking about it. And no, I don´t think you´re paranoid Sean." He turned a bit to give the young sailor a crooked smile. "and you also know we´ll back you up if you need any help. You´re scared of being hated, but knowing you are can´t possibly make that any worse Sean. Trying to find out just gives you the chance to maybe learn you are not hated at all."
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Post by OldSean on May 5, 2009 18:48:33 GMT -5
Sean wanted to tell Sinbad but he wasn't ready yet even though he seemed like Sinbad or so he thought since by the looks of it Sinbad hide his feelings too and Sean guessed that it had something to do with Maeve. Also Sean were talking to much but the info didn't help while his captain kept it in silence. Also he was sure that one day they both would admit what bothers them. He had a feeling that Sinbad could tell that something was bothering him but he could tell or at least he thought he could tell that Sinbad had no idea what was he hiding.
"True but i am so scared, it makes me look like an idiot huh?" he said to his captain and sighed. Sean looked around then back at Sinbad, his captain. "Are you sure about that, Captain? thanks, that is good to know but are you sure?" he said to him a while later. He looked down then at his captain yet he did noticed the crooked smile which confused him a great deal, yet something told him that he recognized that smile. "Yeah that is true also at times i have this feeling that you guys hate me or something. Yeah that is true and i am glad to know you will back me up if needed and i hope it would be OK. That is true, never thought of it that way i suppose"
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Post by Sinbad on May 6, 2009 1:45:34 GMT -5
Sinbad raised an eyebrow at that last remark. He could understand every bit of Sean being scared to confront whoever he thought he might cross or have to cross paths with in Bagdad, but… “Whyever would you think we should hate you?” he asked. It was the concerned question of a friend, with a slight bit of true curiosity to it that was well hidden. Many people had their own little secrets and he tended to grant them those, but he wondered what the other man´s words meant. Did they mean he had done something illegal? Something he was guilty for? He couldn´t imagine this to be so, but still, there was the possibility.
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Post by OldSean on May 6, 2009 7:04:50 GMT -5
Sean looked down then at Sinbad. He wasn't sure how to explain it all, he was sure that his captain kinda understood him but not really, since some of what he said he was sure would be hard to understend. "Well not many people like me so i figured you are with them, even so i rather be liked then hatted" he said to him. Sean looked around then back at his friend and captain, he could tell he was concerned for him and all. He then took a deep breath:"Sinbad, can i tell you something that would be just between us?" he asked over sudden. Sean decided he should tell Sinbad the whole story.
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Post by Sinbad on May 9, 2009 3:49:14 GMT -5
Seeing that he himself wasn´t the most talkative person either when it came to personal issues, Sinbad sensed that Sean was about to make a rather big step. He glanced about the Nomad, seeing that there was no one else in ear shot, then he nodded. “Of course.” he said.
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Post by OldSean on May 9, 2009 6:36:33 GMT -5
"ok, so here it goes. I had an alright life like any kid till my parents got tired of me so they threw me out at a very young age. Dim Dim found me and raised me as his son even so i wasn't his son. Then i joined some sailors that let me join them, i was pretty young at the time but Dim Dim didn't mind since as you most likely know he cares about our happiness. Anyways we got to your town, well Beghdad and we stayed there for awhile, well till they wanted to live but i fell in love with the most beautiful girl ever. We were so happy, we even planed to get married till she died. So i left, because i couldn't deal with it but her family never liked me, in fact they wanted me to stay away from her but we were in love so we stayed together, her family seemed to accepted us as a couple. Her brother moved to Bestra, where we are going now. And the only reason i am scared to see himis because i am scared he would blame me for her death"
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Post by Sinbad on May 11, 2009 15:42:21 GMT -5
Sinbad listened to what the other man told him, the story of the sailor unvoluntarily conjuring images that matched with it. He knew what Sean was going through, even though the roles were a bit reversed in his story.
“You know Sean…” he said. “…you might live day in day out fearing he hates you, but then you might meet and he might forget his anger. Because maybe he has started to understand that what happened to the girl wasn´t your fault.” He turned to give Sean a look. It had been that way with him. He had sworn to kill to avenge Lee´s death, but in the end he had seen the man with a family and had come to his senses. He had seen that a murder would not have made things undone. “You never know.”
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Post by OldSean on May 12, 2009 4:27:10 GMT -5
Sean felt a bit better just for telling his captain about what he went threw, even so in total he wasn't feeling any better at all. He wished that Sinbad came with him, that would make things a lot easier for him, in fact he was sure of that. Sean looked down then around before looking at his captain once more.
"True that but how can we be sure of that though? how can we know that he won't try to kill me for her death or something? i can't go to see him alone. I need someone to be there to let her brother know that i am innocent and i didn't kill her." he said to Sinbad. He looked down then at his catain with a sad look on his face. Sean had a feeling that Sinbad understood what he was going threw, whih made him think that maybe he went threw the same thing or at least something alike but he wasn't sure about that though, yet it seemed that way to him.
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Post by Sinbad on May 12, 2009 4:46:56 GMT -5
That sounded as if this was something Sean had troubled himself with for a very long time already and Sinbad sympathised. “You can never know what will come from something like this.” He said. “but the choice you have is what you do about it: do you want to come clear about things and do you want to know or do you prefer not to know? Both ways are possible.”
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Post by OldSean on May 12, 2009 16:12:56 GMT -5
Sean felt like telling the situation to his captain so he did and it felt like the right thing to do. He looked down then back at Sinbad. "True that but that what's scares me the most. Not knowing" he said to him. "Well i do wanna know for sure but am to scared to. It's just my knees shecking just to think about it. It's so scary and confusing." he said to him.
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Post by Sinbad on May 13, 2009 2:51:31 GMT -5
„I can understand that.“ Sinbad said. “but there is always hope that you won´t be hated. I can not give you a promise that it won´t be so. But… believe me when I say that sometimes people decide for themselves that after some long years, revenge and hating someone is not the right way.” Lee. Of course he was referring to Lee there and to his own pledge to avenge her death which he had put down in the end.
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Post by OldSean on May 15, 2009 6:23:21 GMT -5
"Figured that you could" he said to his captain. "True but the problem is we can't know for sure. I know that you can't i wish you could. True that, it can happen. I mean there are people that can forgive and forget and people that can't but how can we know for sure? can't we send Dermott to check that for us? and are you by the way speaking from experience?"
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Post by Sinbad on May 15, 2009 16:35:50 GMT -5
He seemed to be fixed on the problem, Sinbad thought, but truth be told, could he even blame him for it. These thoughts were thoughts of the kind that could haunt one for years. He would know.
“You can´t be sure. You can only try to make sure.” he said. Then he turned around and leant against the railing before he crossed his arms across his chest. “I am talking from experience, yes.” He said. “but it was the other way round for me. “I wanted to kill someone who I blamed for the death of a friend. In the end, I didn´t kill him.”
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